I am an African American woman. I am curious about the single life in Paris. I plan to visit Paris and a few others countries in the near future. I would appreciate receiving some insight on the dating scene in Paris. Is it difficult for women of color to meet men of color in Paris? Single women find it difficult to meet eligible men in the United States. Are the chances of meeting men in Paris better than the States?

Ella
(Location not disclosed)

A. Dear Ella,

The single dating scene in Paris, as in other European countries, is very different from our scene here in the US. While it would take a response far too long for me to explain here in detail, may I suggest first that before you go to France read the following book:

Culture Shock! France: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette by Sally Adamson Taylor.

The biggest difficulty facing many Americans dating abroad is a lack of cultural understanding. Dating difficulty can be a result of many factors, but if you do not speak French well, or understand how single people relate to one another in certain settings, it will only make the prospect of creating a relationship harder.
As for whether it is difficult meeting men-of-color in France, the simple answer is, no. They are plentiful. The more complicated answer to that question being there is no guarantee that sharing the same ethnic background will mean that you will share the same worldviews. Thus, dating a man-of-color born in a foreign country can be just as difficult, culturally, as dating a man of another race.

*****

Q. Dear Christyann,
What are the rules of flirting in France? How do you tell the difference between innocent flirting and flirting because the person is interested in you?

R. B.

A. Dear R. B.,

The rules of flirting in France are as follows: You are a woman he is a man. C’est tout! The French regard flirting as a skill, and when done properly it is a powerful tool of communication. Flirting can show that you are interested in a person, as a form of appreciation, or simply just for fun. In other words, flirting is as much a part of communication in France as is the art of conversation and rarely is it meant to “lead to” anything.

French people, in general, tend to take long-term romantic relationships rather seriously. They take their time getting to know the person of interest. Therefore, “casual” situations that include lots of flirting will generally be just that, casual.

So if you find that a Frenchman is ‘’flirting’’ with you, chances are he is merely letting you know that he finds you fascinating, or attractive, or both. Nothing more, nothing less. Remember, married men, and single men in France all flirt. It is part of their culture. While it may seem confusing to an American woman as to where this will “lead”, it is not confusing to the French at all.

It is always wise to remember that the French are influenced by 1500 years of sensuous traditions. They remain arrogant in their satisfaction with what we see as their cultural ‘’idiosyncrasies’’, and are not bothered with of how the rest of the world views their actions. So, when in France, relax, and enjoy the flirtatious ride.

*****

Q. I am a single African-American male traveling to Paris. Increasingly, I am finding it more difficult to meet ‘’sistas’’ with a similar world-view. I travel abroad regularly and want to know more about African Americans living in Paris and where I may be able to meet ‘’sistas’’ with stimulating conversation. What do you suggest?

Dellvin W.
Binghamton, NY

A. Dear Dellvin,
While in Paris, I met many African American women who not only traveled abroad frequently, but also were quite adept at conversing about their worldviews. You should have no problem finding women who share your views while visiting the City of Light. If you are traveling abroad regularly and have found that you have not met any of these women, perhaps I may suggest that you look into joining some networking groups in Paris. The American Church in Paris may be a good place to contact concerning local events where you can meet other like-minded African American women. Also, try to frequent some of the English language bookshops and check their events calendars for upcoming events.

There is no end to the number of interesting things to do in Paris, and I am confident that you will find many fascinating African American women with whom you can share your love of travel.

It’s been a month since the launch of the new look and I must say you all have shown the Cafe some serious amour par le web (love from the web)! The comments have been pouring in:

- You ROCK! As a graphic designer –among other things– I’m always impressed by the elegant and tasteful design of Cafedelasoul.com. (There are no dancing hamsters, animated gifs, striped backgrounds, nor pulsating pop-up ads to make a viewer dizzy.) I’m also so proud to see your site grow and begin to receive the recognition it deserves as a “one-stop” resource for all things French, not just Parisian! Rock on, or hyphy-on, whichever you prefer… ~Adrienne

- Bonjour! The new site is delicious! What an awesome way to kick off 2007! ~ Rhonda

- I visited Paris back in May 2004 for a few days for the second time since 1984. Before leaving for Paris I discovered your site, and have been keeping up with it ever since. Love it, and I love the new, updated website even more. ~ Patricia

I must give a shout out to Suzanne Hollands of Ivy Paris (www.ivyparis.com) who, being the first to publically welcome Cafe de la Soul back to the web, said:

“Well, we haven’t forgotten this great Black Paris portal (100% Black Paris Juice, not from concentrate) so I hope to see it going from strength to strength.”

Awwww! Merci milles fois Suzanne! And just FYI, in case you DIDN’T know…..Suze is SUPER FLY her own dang self! Her baby, Ivy Paris, ROCKS out LOUD serving as online hub for visual artists in the city of light. Suzanne also hosts and organizes art exhibits and art related events Paris. Yeah. She’s bad. Artists and art lovers alike should check her site for upcoming Ivy events. *Sigh*….all this mutual adoration just makes me want to break out in song…”Ebooooony aaaaaand Iiiiiiiivy..”

CALLING ALL CAFE VISITORS TO USE THE MESSAGE BOARD AND CLASSIFIED ADS……

The message boards are usually on FIYAH! Where my people at? Now I know it is partially my fault for switching things up on y’all and all, but do get in there and do your thizzle (sorry…had to throw that in, as Snoop Dogg will be in Paris this month, fo’ shizzle! okay don’t get mad at me…I’m going to stop now…but it’s kinda addictive, you know like how everybody was singing “Go Shorty! it’s your birthday!” like, for every single birthday party after the song came out…oh what? you still singing it? my baaaad!) Likewise for the classified ads as both environments are your place to connect with others, sell your stuff, make your announcements, etc. So when you get the chance, show the boards and classified ads some love! (not to mention that SOME PEOPLE sent me SEVERAL comments suggesting I add classified ads…don’t make look up the emails and email you…)

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON….

Dans la peau d’un Noir….
Similar to the show Black and White that ran in the States and had me mesmorized last year, Dans la peau d’un Noir (in the skin of a Black man) attempts to take a look at the differences between the lives and lifestyles of two families living in France, one Black and one White. Add a couple of wigs, some contacts and spray-on skin tone et VOILA! The White family is transformed into a Black family and the Black family is transformed into a White family. They actually look pretty darn good, possibly good enough to fool me if I saw them walking on the street. The show itself is quite timely, particularly given the current focus on the unspoken racism that communities of color experience in France and their struggle for equality (read this month’s feature article “Blacks in France: We have a Dream, Too”). If anyone has been following this show, I’d love for you to share your comments either via the comment feature at the bottom of this article or by sending an email to: blackparis@cafedelasoul.com

WHAT I’M CRAZY ABOUT RIGHT NOW…

Vanessa Jackman…
This sister is really something. Not necessarily your typical soul songstress (in fact, her style is more pop/acoustic rock) but dang it if I don’t just love her sound. It’s soothing, it’s uplifting and just very cool. Miss Vanessa will be in concert in Paris this month on the 22nd and 26th. Show her some love! www.vanessajackman.com

Afric’Elance Designs…
Angele Garcia de Medeiros is an up-and-coming designer based in France, raised in Senegal with Senegalese and Cap Verdian roots. I had the pleasure of viewing Madame de Medeiros designs in a fashion show in (of all places) St. Thomas, U.S.V.I. (what? I was on vacation!!). The de Medeiros collection is both colorful and unique, yet maintains a certain African elegance. In addition to her haute couture and ready-to-wear collection, she also offers bridal services and can create the one-of-a-kind wedding dress of your dreams! Visit her site online @ www.africelance.com and let her know Cafe de la Soul sent ya!

Bruce Davidson Photo Exhibit @ Fondation Henri Cartier-Bresson…
Photos taken in the 1960’s depiciting the life and the struggle of African Americans as they fought for equality and civil rights. An awe-inspring exhibit that reminds me of how far we’ve come and how far we have to go. Fondation Cartier-Bresson, 2, impasse Lebouis, Paris-14e www.henricartierbresson.org

Alrighty kids…that’s my rant for the month…tune in next month as I share adventures from upcoming tours with my fellow Black Paris Diva, Kat St. Thomas-Williams of Kattrax Tours. And for those of you who haven’t joined us yet, you can read all about us in an article written by Julia Browne of Walking the Spirit Tours in the April issue of Pathfinders Travel magazine. Also, keep your eyes peeled for an announcement regarding new tour dates in 2008!

As always I wish you all peace, love and only the BEST of God’s blessings! Bisous!

Robin Bates
Founder/CEO/Editor-in-Chief
Cafe de la Soul * Your Black Paris Portal

Joan R., Richmond, California

A. Dear Joan,
While I am certain that you will find other single Christians in a city like Paris - I am, however, uncertain where you can meet many others who share your ideas concerning pre-marital sex. France is a country that is quite open with regards to this issue.

But, having said this, there may very well be lots of people in Paris who share your values. I cannot give you any specifics at this time.  If your primary interest is simply meeting other Christian singles for outings and casual companionships, you may wish to check the events calendar at the American Church in Paris since I am unfamiliar with any particular programs. The church could be a valuable tool for networking.
The American Church
65, Quai d’Orsay
75007 Paris, France
Tel: +33(0)1-40-62-05-00
Information Center: +33(0)1-45-56-09-50

******

Q. Dear Christiann,
In reference to the young lady whose Frenchman has a roving eye…Despite the cultural differences, I feel that a man who finds it necessary to comment on another woman’s physical attributes in the presence of his date or lover is a suspicious character. I have had experiences with Frenchmen, and not one has every treated me in such a disrespectful manner. The French people I know are far too discreet for this sort of behavior. Sisters should not settle for abuse in foreign countries simply because they are defending their own honor.

Sincerely,
Delorys W-T, Nice, France

A. Dear Delorys,
While I agree with you, my point is that we should not expect the French to behave like Americans. Looking at others, commenting on their attractiveness, or openly flirting with men or women is not a taboo in French culture. Even if you are committed to someone else.

Americans have more problems when going to foreign countries and insisting on everyone behaving as we do without understanding, or accepting, the differences. Women traveling abroad should not accept objectionable behavior under any circumstances. Although you may have had a better experience than some, others may not have had your good fortune and may need a bit of advice.

Patrick Lozès has a dream: One day France’s black citizens will enjoy the equality granted them under law.

“To be black and proud — that’s not being anti-French,” says Mr. Lozès, whose vision challenges France’s color-blind model of assimilation. “It’s simply the liberation of a people who don’t see themselves reflected in their country’s public life — in its theater, television, medicine, and universities — except in negative images.”

It is not an accident that Mr. Lozès’ words often contain echoes of Martin Luther King Jr. and other luminaries of the American civil rights movement. The African-American struggle for racial equality has been his prototype for France’s first national black lobbying organization.

His group, called the Representative Council of Black Organizations (Le Conseil Représentative des Associations Noires, or CRAN), was founded in late 2005, just after widespread rioting in the suburban ghettos populated largely by the families of African and Arab immigrants.

The riots were not the motivation for creating CRAN, according to Mr. Lozès. But they gave the group immediacy, momentum and a high public profile.

Its leaders have spent the past months holding conferences, setting up committees, and building a grass-roots network across the country through the more than 130 local black civic associations that make up its membership. The group has also regularly protested — against a television host who insulted Africans, against the way one French dictionary defined colonialism, and against laws prohibiting the collection of racial and ethnic statistics.

CRAN’s big test will come in this spring’s presidential and parliamentary elections. While political experts are doubtful that the group will succeed in uniting blacks in a single voting bloc, its leaders say they will make their mark by putting the question of racial discrimination squarely on the campaign agenda.

Mr. Lozès says they’ve already succeeded in making blacks visible, as blacks.

“For a long time we have been identified by country of origin or by economic status, which was a hypocritical denial of our identity,” Mr. Lozès adds. “If you keep saying ‘African,’ it pushes the problem away. The reason for the discrimination is not because we’re African. It’s because we’re black.”

France does not ask about race on its census. Nor does it collect information about heritage beyond asking for the birthplace of a person’s parents. So estimates of the size of the black population are only educated guesses based on immigration data and assumptions about family size. CRAN contends that France has between 2.5 and 5 million blacks — representing at most about 8 percent of the population.

Measuring racism is also difficult, although the government agency handling complaints said that 40 percent of the 1,800 sustained cases involved discrimination on the basis of race or national origin. The government, particularly in the past few years, acknowledges that there is discrimination in the job market and a lack of diversity in media and other institutions.

But the victims of such discrimination are officially described only by their situation, as residents of “disadvantaged” neighborhoods, for example, or as people “of immigrant background.”

CRAN Runs Into Deep-Rooted Hostility

CRAN, in defining itself as a black organization, has run into deep-rooted hostility. Its premise, that black citizens have shared aims and problems by virtue of the color of their skin, may seem obvious to outsiders. But many conservatives and academics here have complained that the group undermines the French model of assimilation by emphasizing racial differences.

“There is resistance in France to confronting the question of race,” says Françoise Verges, a specialist in postcolonial politics who teaches at the University of London. “As soon as it emerges, as it did with CRAN, you immediately have people linking it with multiculturalism.”

In the 1930s and beyond, France was seen by many black American artists as a haven from racism at home. For years, the subject of race relations was a staple of French intellectual debate. But that debate was focused on French conduct toward its Arab and African colonies and the status of its Pacific Ocean territories. Once the colonies became independent countries, race receded from the public arena.

“Now we are talking about black citizens, citizens who carry another history that is at the same time the history of France,” says Ms. Verges. “In that, it’s similar to the American civil rights movement in that it asks what it means to be a citizen.”

In the near future, however, France may not see its black population mobilize into a cohesive pressure group or evolve into a voting bloc. As far as French pollsters have been able to determine, blacks tend to vote along the same left-right patterns as the rest of the population.

“It would be a radical change in electoral behavior if people voted as a bloc because of color,” says Pierre Giacometti, director of the Ipsos polling company, which conducts regular political-opinion surveys. “It’s unlikely that blacks will vote as a bloc. And even if they did, their influence would be relatively marginal because their demographic weight is not like in the United States.”

Regardless of what CRAN does, many of its concerns about discrimination are likely to figure in the campaign anyway. “Questions of identity and integration will influence the debate and the vote,” adds Mr. Giacometti, “because the public is still preoccupied with last year’s riots and the sense that our system of integration has failed.”

Tapping African-Americans’ Expertise

Mr. Lozès says that he takes a long view and wants to model CRAN after the activism and voter-awareness programs of the 98-year-old National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. But some of CRAN’s members are more impatient for change.

A few months ago, they invited Edgar Chase III, an African-American business professor at Dillard University in New Orleans, to speak about the role of education in achieving racial equality.

It was not long before the discussion turned into a strategy session, with Mr. Chase as mentor.

“We should be boycotting companies that don’t hire enough blacks,” said one young woman. “In the U.S., big companies felt it was in their interest commercially to not be racist.”

There were murmurs of approval from others in the room - all of them French, most of them blacks whose parents or grandparents came from former French colonies in Africa. Mr. Lozès asked for a primer on American affirmative action laws. Others chimed in to ask how to mount a protest march and get positive publicity.

“You need to have a positive mind-set,” said Mr. Chase. “You’ve got to sell your dream and focus on the future, not the past.”

“Yes, yes,” affirmed Ferdinand Ezembe, a CRAN leader in charge of its education committee.

“Maybe you do a protest march,” continued Chase. “But you send a positive message: ‘We’re doing this because we love France and want it to be able to compete in the global economy.”

Afterward, Mr. Lozès was in high spirits.

“I took from him a confirmation of the justice of our struggle,” he said.

*****
CRAN Online: http://www.lecran.org

Le CRAN
55 rue du Chateau d’Eau
75010 - Paris
Tél : 08 70 28 47 07

Before starting your own company you had a great deal of experience working as stylist in the states. What was your most memorable project?

Yes, I was stylist for 10 years before landing in Paris in 2002. My most memorable moment would have to be shopping for Beyoncé in Paris. I never dreamed that I would shop for Beyoncé! Iit was for Essence magazine and she was being photographed for the cover in Rotterdam, Holland. Essence wanted to show another side of her, a more spiritual side, so they wanted a bohemian look. I went to various showrooms like Christian Dior, Jean Paul Gaultier, Tsumori Chisato just to name a few. I arrived in Rotterdam for the shoot where I met the team from Essence and Beyoncé. I have to say that she is just as beautiful in person, both inside & out. It was great fun and afterwards we were all invited to their concert. What a blast we had!

Give us the scoop on your company Wardrobe Solutions Network. What is it and when did it start?

I started Wardrobe Solutions Network in 2005, I have always wanted to create this sort of service where I would give women and men advice on how to get the most from their wardrobe. I was especially interested in the concept of shopping in your closet. I think that we really never take stock of what we actually have in our closets. How many times do we say that we have a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear? In fact you probably have great pieces in your closet that need to be updated by adding beautiful accessories or just learning how to put together pieces that you never imagined would work as an outfit.

Why did you decide to base your company in Paris? Was it difficult getting your company up and running abroad?

I really never set out to start a business or base a business in Paris, it was basically conceived from trying for a couple years to establish myself as a fashion stylist in Paris. I was met with many challenges, first of all arriving in Paris with very few contacts as well as not having a command of the language it was extremely hard to break into the fashion world here, however I used all of those obstacles to create something positive and that’s how WSN was born.

From a fashion perspective, what are/have been the benefits of being based in Paris?

What has been rewarding for me being based in Paris is that you are constantly inspired by Parisian street fashion. Being in the fashion capital of world allows you to see first hand what is happening in terms of emerging trends and new talent.

What are the current fashion trends in Paris right now?

At the moment everyone is coming down from Winter and looking forward to Spring. This Spring you can expect to see lot of shine, metallics, patent leathers in bold and bright colors. The skinny pant is carried over from this winter, sporty chic will be making it’s appearance again, leggings or jogging pants paired with not your basic tees, but tee with sequins, tees that are draped as well as many other styles. The A-line dress is front and center, which is well- suited for many body types. Day dresses will be very popular as well.

What is on your list of must haves this fashion season?

My wish list for this season would have to be Miu Miu skinny black pant, Matthew Williamson sequined tee, and Lanvin’s canary yellow t-shirt dress.

What difference have you noticed between fashion trends in Europe and those in the States?

The differences that I have noticed between Europe and the States is that there is a huge turnover in the States, we have laws that allows us to mark down merchandise that is not moving or to have sales at any given moment therefore this lets the consumer experiment with more fashion trends . Most Europeans cities outside of England have their sales two to three times a year, and I think because of that, they are not taking as many risk as the Americans who like to follow the trends closely.

Most of the fashions capitals like Paris, Milan and London people are well put together but that does not always mean edgy. For example, a Parisian would prefer to purchase something classic and of good quality that they can get a lot of mileage out of as opposed to buying something trendy. In London they pride themselves on being creative and avant-garde; it is better have your own individual style. In Milan they take fashion very serious its all about the quality and the craftsmanship of the garment. However in Paris, while they do follow the trends, I would say they are more conformist and even a bit conservative at times. In conclusion i would say that the Europeans are not following trends as close as Americans mainly because they believe that to have great style does not always mean relying on the trends.

The cafe often receives emails regarding what to wear in Paris, in order to blend in with the Parisians, any tips for our readers on how to best achieve “le look Parisien”?

My best advice would be to any one who is looking to blend in or achieve “le look Parisien”: keep it simple, the French like to dress elegantly. I can always tell Americans a mile away wearing shorts and long t-shirts! I would strongly advise against shorts and long t-shirts. When organizing your trip to Paris think of clothes that can be mixed & matched, start with a nice pair of black pants or any color that has a good fit , a crisp clean button down white shirt, solid color v-neck/crew neck sweaters or tees; jeans are always fun with ballerina flats; for night go little bit funkier with sexy stilettos and a pair jeans, great top or beaded earrings. Have fun with your wardrobe. You are in Paris!

In addition to fashion consulting I understand you also offer shopping tours. How much much are they and what do they include?

Yes, the tours specializing in the following:

Designer & Luxury - Start this tour at Fauchon the celebrated food emporium for a café creme. Afterwards stroll down rue du Fauboug Saint-Honoré where there are such designers as Chanel, Christan Dior, Prada, just to name to few. Discover some of the most prestigious names in fashion in this historic quarter. Ending the tour at the renowned department stores Galeries Lafayette & Printemps known for their outstanding perfume & beauty selections.

Moderate Price Design - Discover the left bank, wander around on small charming streets, Where you will find a wave of ultra chic shops like Emporio Armani, Agnes B, and Diptyque, the famous perfume candle shop. A stop at the Café Flore, this left bank landmark is recommended where you will find actors, writers, great place for people watching. Finish the tour at Bon Marché the oldest department store in Paris, with a excellent selection of a excellent selection of Men’s & Women’s clothing.

Trendy/Lower Price -This tour you find a variety or trendy discount shops like H&M, C&A, Kookai , Zara, as well as other small novelty shops situated in the fashionable Chatelet and Les Halles. The tour ends by having a drink at the art center Georges Pompidou on their inside terrace where you have a breathtaking view of all of Paris.

Shopping tours are 75 euros per person for the day (special note: lunch and refreshments are not included in the price of the tours) Lunches are optional. Tours usually start at 11:30 to 4:30, however, times are flexible according to your needs.

Can you tailor a shopping tour to an individual?

Yes tours can be tailored to meet your needs. For example is someone wants to just shop for shoes or if you looking to shop for children’s clothes or beauty products. WSN can create a tailor made agenda to meet all of your shopping needs while in Paris.

What other services does Wardrobe Solutions Network offer?

We offer personal shopping for individuals and groups. WSN can help you to select items tailored to your size, shape and lifestyle. We offer a fashion reporting services for boutiques, fashion designers, manufacturing companies, & magazines.

Sonya, it has been a pleasre chatting with you and I wish you and WSN all the BEST! Happy Shopping!

**SONYA’S FAVORITES**

Accessories for Spring: Jimmy Choo’s printed flats; sun glasses by Marc Jacobs; any necklace that makes a statement; platform sandals by Diesel as well as Marc Jacobs; Vanessa Bruno Spring sac.

Places to shop: Bon Marché - because of its great shoe department & Colette - to browse emerging trends

Restaurant: L’Ebauchoir in the 12th arrondissement - it is a great little restaurant serving French cuisine with a twist, very good wine list and nice atmosphere.

For more information:

WEB: visit Sonya’s Blog at: http://wardrobesolutions.blogspot.com/

EMAIL: sonya.studio-boissard@wanadoo.fr