Calling all Angels

Well, it’s almost the end of April and I’m scrambling to stay for longer in this maddening city I adore. Funny, what doesn’t break you makes you stronger. First of all, I have met some amazing folks coming here to visit – thanks for the meals and coffee – and finally feel like I belong. Makes the idea that I might have to leave all the more hard to take.

Been doing tours for Walking the Spirit Tours on black Paris (see the website at (http://walkthespirit.moonfruit.com) for details and to make reservations) and have been having the time of my life. I hope all of you get the chance to realize what you’re supposed to be doing with your lives and future. I believe I have found my calling. I get to combine all I love – walking in this gorgeous city (and getting exercise!), teaching (which is a passion), talking to new people who are thrilled to learn about our history here, and talking (just try and shut me up!). I can’t believe how lucky I am… Okay, calling the universe: I want to stay in Paris!

Day-to-day life here is becoming surprisingly normal. I love my neighborhood still (it doesn’t hurt that the chicken lady calls me by name!), the people here are so great, and the culture becomes more familiar with each passing day. I still make mistakes all the time, but am learning to laugh at myself with greater ease. I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of any celebrities lately (must be a record for me) and I weigh less than I have in decades. I almost don’t recognize myself. And yes, for those following my weight odyssey, I’m gorgeous! (smile) How do I know? A man on the Metro the other day called me a “goddess.” Damn straight!

The time alone – and I mean alone – has been the best and worst experience of my life. I know myself better than I did 7 months ago. And being alone with yourself forces you to collapse or face who you truly are. It’s been a ride: some things (more than I wanted to admit) I found were not all they should be in my life, and I have been working to correct them. That would have been impossible in my old life. I had too many things to distract me. Here, it’s been all about me, myself and I; that makes it harder to turn away. I am so happy that you have been on this journey with me. Your encouragement – some of the women I’ve met here or just emailed with – have made me feel so good about what I’ve accomplished. I’ll say this about black folks: they sure do let you know when they’re proud of you! So to all my new friends, grandmas, and sister-friends, I thank you.

Waiting for Godot

Received several lovely emails from folks asking where my entries are! Nothing like being kept on your toes. I am fine; no worries. I think my lack of huge and stupid adventures means that I’m truly settling in here. Have had a great friend visit for 10 days, where I was treated to real live restaurants! We walked until we dropped and then had hot chocolate. How good is life, I ask you?

I have been helping Walking the Spirit Tours with tours of Black Paris in April and having the time of my life! I took the tours in 1997 and have been dying to work with Julia ever since. I’m hoping that it turns into something more permanent – please send positive vibes! It’s been taking a bunch of time, but for the first time in seven months, I’m feeling confident, happy and healthy! And can pay rent too! Yee Haw! And a big, big thank you to Cafedelasoul's own Robin Bates for making it happen. How lucky am I to have such wonderful black women like Robin, Monique, Julia and Kat looking out for my sorry "wanna be Parisian" ass?! Not to mention the ones back home...

Wondering about the title? Well, fellowship letters come out this month and I’m a bit insane with anxiety. Okay, I'm just insane with anxiety. Everytime I hear the front door of my building I've been whipping open the door to see if it's the postman. Scared the hell out of my neighbors yesterday! Positive results = I can stay in Paris for another year. Negative = I’m fund-less for the coming year and need to go back to California. I’ve put out to the universe that I want to stay here another year; the ancestors have been informed. But as they say in “Rudy”: we pray in our time, the answers come in God’s time.

Just a note designed to elicit heavy sighs: I have been inundated with requests for hotel and restaurant suggestions. As a student, I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at home. So, much as I’d like to help, I’m not the one. My suggestion is that you find a great guidebook and find a hotel that suits your personality. Yeah, I know, not much help, but this should give you an indication that I am not the one! That said, there are several seemingly lovely 2-star hotels in Paris (if looking through the window is any indication). If you are interested in renting an apartment, I found my apartment through Lodgis.com; Fusac.com has apartment listings as well. There – all I know. Now, unless you're contributing to my "Buy Robin Parisian Bras" fund (which you are most definitely not), I have no more information! Ciao for now! Bisous!