New Year's Wishes

The news is bleak these days; natural disasters and horrific loss of life. My friends in the café lost contact with their family for three days; thankfully, they all turned out to be okay (but had harrowing stories to tell). And all were saved by an anonymous someone who helped them move out of the way of certain death. It does put things into perspective. I am so grateful that my family and friends are well.

Christmas was so much for fun than I could have imagined! My landlords – who are wonderful – invited me over for a traditional Christmas Eve dinner (which lasted well into Christmas morning). I know I’m a lightweight, but goodness, I don’t think I have ever had that many different types of alcohol in one night! Plus, I got to try foods that I had always assumed I wouldn’t like. The lovely Mme. Malbrand served mimosas with Cointreau to begin, along with awesome hors d’œuvres. The family was stunned that I had never had raw oysters, so her sons and husband spent a good deal of time teaching me how to eat them. Of course, everyone had a different opinion (lemon or no lemon? Chew or just swallow?) And surprise, surprise, they aren’t bad! After oysters (and wine, wine, wine); we had duck confit (amazing!) about 8,000 cheeses (and more wine)), a salad (with pear liqueur), and finally a nougat cake (with grape liqueur). By this time, I was a bit unsteady! But their son saw me safely home, and off to bed I went, with a very, very happy tummy!

Christmas Day was spent with my professor, in from Berkeley. What can you say about a woman who managed to have 14 people in her apartment and have gifts for all of us! She is a wonderful lady. Oh yeah, champagne for days. I’m off the alcohol for at least a month, just to let this get out of my system!!! I am ready for the new year to begin. Great things are coming, I feel it!

I wish you all a safe and Happy New Year (and a happy birthday to my mom!)

I've met a boy...

On one of my many walks around Paris, I found a great little shop that has lingerie for really reasonable prices and in lots of sizes (up to size 24!). It’s called Eurodif (58, rue Chaussée d’antin, in the 9th) and a pair of sexy undies costs less than 6 euros! Walked out with three pairs of lacy things for under 20 euros! And I have to say, being able to shop on a Sunday was such a lovely treat. One of the upsides of Christmas time!

In other news, I met a gorgeous boy in a café that I frequent for lunches. He asked me out! Woo Hoo! My first real date in France (not bad for 3 months, I’m thinking!). It was great; Paris is definitely a romantic city, no doubt about it. So far, we’ve had a comedy of language errors: he speaks no English! At one point he asked if I HAD kids and I said “hell no.” Turns out he’d asked if I “LIKED” kids, because he has one. The look on his face was priceless. Thankfully, I asked him to repeat the question! Another reason for language proficiency.

So, I figured he was younger than me. I had prepared myself for it. I asked him if he knew I was older. “Mais, oui. C’est pas grave,” he answered. So, even though I asked him on our first date NOT to tell me his age, I finally caved. “Tell me how old you are,” I asked through closed fingers. How much younger is he? Let’s just say that if you have fantasies of coming to Paris and meeting a younger man, I’m living your dream! Good news is that dating now actually seems possible in this town’ something that makes wanting to stay a lot more attractive.

Happy Holidays - Month Three

Galeries Lafayette - December 2004

It has been a pretty wonderful, frustrating, exasperating, joyous month three here in Paris…but the Christmas decorations are up, there are two beautifully decorated trees outside my metro station, and it just feels like Christmas! Every quartier here has different decorations, and I have been spending Saturdays walking around Paris and looking at them. They are simply glorious. Still, being on my own at Christmas isn’t my first idea of holiday cheer. And my first friend in Paris, Emily, is moving back to the States in two days! One of the goals for the New Year is to find ways to increase my social circle. Feel free to send ideas! And yes, I am sick.

Paris represents so many changes for me; how often does one get to essentially begin their life over? Nothing is familiar, everything takes work, and would it kill these people to sell Apple Jacks cereal? But I see it as a time to re-work the things in my life that need it, to embrace the things in my life that I cherish, and to learn how to let go of the stuff I have no control over. And no, it’s not much fun sometimes. But it’s Paris, and I can’t imagine being anywhere else right now. I wish you all a joyous Hanukah, a Merry Christmas, a Happy Kwanzaa and an amazingly holiday season. I will be thinking of each and every one of you! And thanks mom, for the Apple Jacks and Froot Loops!

December December December

Now we’re about up to date. Now you’ll get my entries in real time, hopefully still honest. I decided that in order to stay in Paris long-term, I must improve my fluency. You want to (and need to) speak French to really live here. And the difficulty in communicating (no, the French have been amazingly patient and kind) is getting me down. So what to do? Last time I took a course with a bunch of people and I ended up learning and repeating their mistakes. So I picked up a free Paris weekly for the English speaking community in Paris and found the ads for private tutors. I located a man who is a professor at the Sorbonne, who is relatively well priced (15 euros/hour). We talked on the phone, decided to meet (in my café – where the boys were looking out for me!) and got along well. Now I meet him there two times a week for conversation, grammar and phonetics! Nothing like being pro-active.

Thanks to cafedelasoul.com, and Priscilla Lalisse (who I’m still trying to meet!) when it came time to get my hair done, I had a list to work from. Still, it was scary. Hair is nothing to fool around with, I’m telling you. But I tried Feel 'n' Beauty (58, rue Arcade; there should be a link to Priscilla’s article on the menu page). They did a GREAT job on my braids, and are just incredibly patient and helpful. Did exactly what I asked (which is saying something) and laughed good-naturedly at my French (apparently one of my pronunciations turned an innocent little word into a lewd sexual thing!) Felt just like being back in the “beauty parlour” in Oakland. Not cheap, but I didn’t have to sell a body part.

Research goes slowly, and while I’m getting used to being so much less efficient here, I sure don’t like it! If you ever feel like you are too competent and confident, come to Paris. They’ll beat that right out of you! (Smile). And I’m sick. Again. Seem to keep catching the same cold. Hope my next entry isn’t “How to find a good doctor in Paris!” Geez...

New "Home" for the Holidays

Being the holiday season makes it a bit scary. Several graduate students here decided to do a potluck Thanksgiving dinner at my house. Lots of fun and home didn’t seem so very far away. Certain American products here are quite pricey, though you can find them if you’re willing to pay the price. I order 3 chickens from the chicken man the day before (remember, it pays to be a regular – and if you love something – tell them!) and show up to find he’s given me an extra chicken and potatoes for my “ petit American fête!”

Ok, I’m addicted to Star Academy. I’m not ashamed. Reality show blah blah blah. But, saw a singer on the show who knocked me out. So I bought his CD and it’s incredible. So here’s a plug for Corneille and his CD entitled Parce qu’on vient de loin. He reminds me of Maxwell. It’s in French, but man, oh man! Run, don’t walk to your music store; should be in the import section. Apparently he is doing a concert here next year that I will try to go to. Want a way to improve your French? Listening to songs you like to hear over and over actually helps you start “hearing” words. Plus when I hear him on the radio and sing along, the French are astounded I know who he is!

Another low, but not for long

Part of the process of moving to a new place are the predicable highs and lows. I have tried to prepare myself for them by acknowledging that they’re coming and trying to make sure they don’t hang on too long. Try to make sure a melancholy day doesn’t turn into melancholy weeks! It’s November and it’s beginning to get cold! I got lost for the fortieth time since I got here. It’s beginning to get old. And I have lost the ability to communicate on the phone. Never underestimate how much we all take for granted. Now, if I can’t see you, I can’t understand you. Great. I’m getting a degree in French history, right? Sigh. I mean, how many times can you say “I’m really quite intelligent in English” without people starting to look at you funny.

I have “found” my café in Montmartre, it’s called le Carillon (1, rue des Abbesses; Pierre runs the place and makes the best café crème in Paris!). And he’s cute as all get-out and extremely nice too! They even know what I want without asking, which makes me feel like I really “belong.” I go every morning now. Find a way to make Paris yours…

Success! There is a store called C&A, which stocks nice basics in larger sizes! And one doesn’t need to mortgage anything to get a sweater or a skirt! Also, a store called H&M has great v-neck sweaters in the men’s section for under 25 euros. And since the men here have somewhat evolved, I managed to get one in baby pink for only 15 euros! See if you can figure out what I mean by that. Vive la France!

Election

An amazing thing about Paris is how incredibly well-informed they are about places other than their own (yes, I’m talking to you, Americans!) Everyone here wants to talk about the election, there are nightly shows about the implications and ramifications of Bush vs. Kerry. I myself am anxious beyond belief, as are most Americans here. My new friend Emily asked me: If Bush wins, do you think we can ask for diplomatic immunity? Well, it happened. Bush somehow was re-elected. I’m speechless and the less said the better.

Been here over a month already and have lost weight – almost 10lbs. I think! Nice given my love for lemon tarts. Another word of advice if I may: I brought two winter skirts a size smaller than I was wearing when I left because I wasn’t sure where or even if I could find clothes (over a size 16 and it gets complicated). At least so far; I probably just don’t know where to look. But when I find store(s), you’ll be the first to know). Very smart move, as I am less than 3lbs. away from fitting into them. One less thing to worry about. If you have cosmetics you love, or special products, I suggest you bring yourself a mini-supply. That way, if they don’t stock it here, you have time to find equivalents. And I’m off to look at a lingerie store I saw advertised that supposedly specializes in sizes for girls with breasts! I’ll report back.

But Paris is a city for walking and walking and walking. Woke up feeling more myself again. Found a man who roasts chickens in a shop near my place, where two chicken breasts and two orders of potatoes comes to less than 6 dollars! Two meals. If that’s not a deal for the budget-minded… It’s expensive to be here. The ever-declining dollar and the ever-rising euro makes it tough. But then again, I’m in Paris. I’ll shut up now.

Making myself at home - Month Two

I’ll try to let you know about fun places I find and good places to eat, and great places to shop and whatnot in my entries. Plus if you want to know something in particular – ask away. I’ll do my best to answer! If I get embarrassed, I’ll just pretend I didn’t get your email! Here, I’ll help you out: did I just ask my mother to send me tampons with plastic applicators! I can’t find them here! Yes I did! See, all better.

I have a few colleagues and know one or two people from my last trip, but basically, I don’t know anybody. I find the French more formal than Americans (which I love!) but it makes it a bit hard to find friends. And I have decided I want more than just American friends. I live in Paris; I want Parisian friends. But a lovely surprise. I am sitting in my little square near my apartment and a woman sits next to me. A man is walking up the hill, wearing ratty running shoes, eating a croissant and drinking a coke out of the can. At 7:30 in the morning. We both said at the same time: American. Looked at each other and started laughing. Turns out she went to Berkeley (where I’m doing my PhD) and lives in Santa Cruz, where I did my master’s, and she lives ½ block from me in Montmartre. Small world. My first friend in Paris. Yeah!

In keeping with my pledge to tell all, here’s my embarrassing story of the week: By now you’ve all seen Amelie (because I told you to!). Well, I shop at the grocery store in the film – it’s called Au Marché de la Butte (on 56, rue des Trois Frères) – and it is as lovely as it appears. The owners are such nice people and after a week of going in there everyday (it pays to be a regular in Paris…trust me) I am always greeted with a handshake, a smile, and great produce! Anyway, there is a famous French actor, named Dominique Pinon (was in Amelie, Delicatessen and Aliens: Resurrection to name but a few –oh, plus Diva, my all time favorite Paris film) and he lives in my neighborhood. I happened to see him getting out of a cab and apparently lost my mind. I wanted to say how much I love his films, that I’m a huge fan, etc. What came out was: Je t’aime beaucoup! I even forgot to use “vous.” He looked at me like I was insane and said very dryly: um, okay, thank you. I came home mortified and called my best friend, who made me feel better. Now I have to hope I never see him again, because I’ll just be the crazy American with no manners who loves him -- alot! Remember the pledges: know you’re gonna make mistakes and try to laugh at yourself. And it’s okay to avoid famous people who think you’re nuts.

Paris Vibes - Parts 1 & 2

Paris Vibe – Part One

I have decided to make myself over (Just like in the movies…American girl comes to Paris and comes back a Parisian bombshell! News at eleven!) What’s great about being on your own, is being on your own. No one knows you or anything about you. You get to decide who you are all over again. I decide to dress up and to wear make-up every day. To pluck my eyebrows, for crying out loud! It all makes me feel more confident and pretty. Nice armament to have here in the City of Light! I wear skirts everyday and lipstick. I buy 5 dollar scarves that all the French girls wear – in lots of colors. I decide to wear French perfume and end up with a lovely (and expensive) scent based on something from the 19th century. I feel brave. I decide I need a café – one where they know me. And after all this – I think I might try flirting with the next guy I meet! I do and he flirts back! Paris is fabulous!

Paris Vibe – Part Two

Paris sucks. My crush turns out to be married, but wants to date me anyway. It’s cold outside and I just want pancakes. Whose stupid idea was it to wear lipstick and skirts everyday? The boy at the archives was mean to me; at least I think he was mean: I didn’t quite understand him. All communication takes WORK. Everything takes work. I’m at the end of my first month; and I’m tired. Then on my walk home (I’m trying to walk everywhere) I turn the corner, and there it is…The Eiffel Tower. My favorite thing in the universe. The sun is setting and there it is. The woman in the bakery who never smiles at me and my “bonjour” smiled at me, bypassed the bread in the stack and brought me a warm baguette from the back. I think I’ve lost 5 lbs and there are definitely calf muscles developing. Paris is wonderful. I can do this!

Overwhelmed

Even if you’ve traveled to Paris on vacation many times like I have, it’s different being a long-term resident and having to deal with day-to-day stuff is scary. I need to check my email; where is the grocery store; I’m hungry. Tons of different languages, tons of faces, all looking lost, scared, excited, mad, exasperated, tired, treacherous and glorious. If that doesn’t sum up Paris, I don’t know what does! (smile) Ok, what scares me today? Everything! For some reason, I find walking into crowed cafes scary. So I make myself go into a crowded café and order breakfast. Baby steps. Decide I need a schedule for myself to help me be less anxious. So I make one. Then I go to the post office and buy stamps. May sound silly, but actually accomplishing the little things are what you’ll hold onto.

The week is odd; having a hard time getting going; feel nervous all the time. Miss my friends. Eating takes effort and requires nerve. A new diet plan: the Fear Diet. I’m a big girl; and sometimes it looks like everyone here is a size two. Could some of the seats be any smaller? Will I be able to find clothes that fit? How will I fit in here? Everyone is looking at me. I love how melodramatic and paranoid it seems now. But it wasn’t then. Having thoughts of getting back with everyone of my old boyfriends in the States. See, that’s what being so lonely gets you! Takes me ½ hour to figure out how the washing machine works. I used to be competent back home! And now, I have to begin my research…in French…

Bureaucratic Hell

One of the best entries into Paris long-term is via student status; however you do it, if you do it properly, means you have to get a residence card…sigh. There are several good books out there that tell you what to expect, what you need, etc. so I won’t bore you with the details. But know the details, or expect the worst. I, of course, am overly prepared and head off to get my papers. I’m sweating profusely from nervousness, which I sure makes me look like a criminal. My readings told me no matter how well prepared I am, they will ask for something I don’t have. I don’t believe it; it’s how I operate. I’m always prepared. Well, I wasn’t and was sent away; huge blow to my confidence and I come home and get teary. Decide I don’t want to go back there…ever. However, I went back the next day with the new document and got my paperwork done. A medical exam (very cursory) two weeks later, and I’m LEGAL!

Realize on the way home that my apartment is on top of two rather large hills – that I will need to climb daily. Well, I need to lose weight anyway. (More on that later). Ok, maybe I can do this…

Live from Montmartre! - Month One

Au Lapin Agile - the Montmartre district - 18th arrondissement, Paris

Hi! This is Robin Mitchell, writing from Paris! I’m so excited to be back on Cafedelasoul.com for part deux of my online journal. Some of you might remember me from two years ago, when I spent the summer here; well, now I’m back in Paris for at least nine months (hopefully much longer!) working on my dissertation (on representations of black women in 19th-century Parisian society) and will be sending you delicious ramblings from the most beautiful city on earth! I’m accelerating several entries to get us up to the present – the end of my third month. Then you’ll get it as it comes.

My plan is to let you see what it’s like to pick up and move across the country to a place you’ve always dreamed of living. It ain’t easy…in essence, I’m starting all over again, which is both exhilarating and terrifying. Everything takes more effort; it’s hard to find stuff that you knew was at Target (man, I miss Target!). I have learned a move such as this requires an entirely new outlook on life (it’s different than moving from one city in the US to another). Just like last time, I promise to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly. But my tools for survival are as follows and should be yours as well if you make such a move: 1) you’re gonna make mistakes; it’s unavoidable. So try to have a sense of humor about it. 2) Do something that scares you every day. 3) Find a way to make Paris yours…

For now, I’ll catch you up on my first month here (you’ll see several entries): I arrived at the end of September. I rented an apartment in my favorite part of the city: Montmartre. If you haven’t seen the film, Amelie, get thee hence to a video store. This is my neighborhood, and if you ask me, it’s the best place in Paris. It still operates like the little village it once was, nice if you’re alone in the city: people up here will recognize your face very quickly. I love that and really need to be recognized right now!

First thing that hit me when I arrived is: I’m really alone. All my support groups and loved ones are back in the United States. My landlords are lovely; they make my apartment feel warm and welcoming. And I’m really alone. Montmartre is an area I know, so I walked around and tried to see what I could remember. Feel completely overwhelmed, like I’m not sure how to behave or what to do. Try to start speaking French again (I am NOT fluent) and everyone is very kind, which makes me feel a bit better. And I’m really alone here.